In a given day, kids are told more times not to do something than they can count. But how many times do we take the time to explain why?

If we want our kids to be self-motivated to eat healthier, take turns, or use kinder language, we need to invest the time and explain why. Just because something makes sense in the mind of a grownup doesn’t mean it’s self-explanatory or obvious to a child.

Here are eight explanations for seemingly common-sense requests.

1. Don’t Whine

As parents, we know that the sound of a whining child drives us mad. But why exactly is whining bad? My daughter once retorted, “I’m not hurting anyone.”

While doing research for this article, I found a plethora of articles that address how to stop a whining child, but very few on the exact negative effects of whining. According to a study published in the Journal of Social, Evolutionary and Cultural Psychology, whining was named the most annoying sound ever.

More participants made mistakes while doing subtraction problems while listening to whining than while listening to any other sound, including the sound of a high-pitched table saw.

One good reason you can give your child for why they shouldn’t whine is that it distracts Mommy and Daddy like no other sound can. This can lead to big mistakes, especially when driving, cooking, or doing any other task that requires concentration.

2. Share

Sharing is caring. But why exactly is it important to care this way?

You can explain to your child that caring is contagious. When we care for others, it empowers others to do the same, even causing a domino effect.

Remind your child that there is a shortage of love in this world. Another important reason for sharing is that it teaches your own heart to love by instructing your heart to love people more than things.

In the beginning, your actions might follow your feelings, but in the end, your feelings follow your actions. So it’s important to share, even if you may not always feel like it.

3. Don’t Hit

Hitting is never a good response to anger. Not only can you really hurt someone by hitting them, but that person can really hurt you back.

Hitting only escalates anger instead of deflating it, and it can grow the anger much bigger than its original size. It’s a lot like covering up a mistake with a larger scribble. You didn’t get rid of the mistake. You only made it worse.

4. Take Turns

Not only is it fair to take turns, but the result of not taking turns is utter chaos.

What if we never had lines for things? People would just push and shove until they got their way. Taking turns promotes order in any society, even the kind that exists in sandboxes.

5. Be Patient

Good things come to those who wait. Patience is hard for anyone, but especially challenging for kids.

The first thing kids need to understand about patience is that it is like a muscle. You can’t build it overnight. Patience takes practice.

If you don’t practice patience as a 4-year-old, you won’t learn patience as a 7-year-old or even as a 70-year-old. So encourage your child to continue building their tolerance for waiting and developing this muscle.

6. Don’t Say, “I Can’t Do It”

It is a sophisticated concept to understand the power that words have on our lives. But words affect our actions because words are, in fact, the very first form of action.

Words are the first step toward a positive path or a negative one, which is why it’s important to adopt positive language.

7. Clean Up

When my mom used to make a big stink about keeping my room clean, I seldom listened. In hindsight, I realize it’s because I didn’t understand the benefits.

Studies show that people who have cleaner homes have better health, better focus, and better moods. Explain to your child that even though they think they can function just fine with a messy space, they’ll think more clearly, be happier, and be healthier if they keep a clean space.

Those are some great benefits.

8. Don’t Eat Too Many Sweets or Snacks

“We are what we eat,” you can start by saying.

Food has a way of affecting our health and concentration, as well as our moods. What we eat can change us from being fit to overweight, calm to hyper, or even calm to frustrated.

What we eat can make us nicer or angrier. Explain to your child that healthy choices help their body and mind feel their best.