Martin Luther King, Jr was a civil rights leader during the 1950s and 1960s. He led non-violent protests to fight for the rights of all human beings, including African Americans. He is considered one of the great orators of modern times. His speeches are still inspiring people today. He gave his famous “I Have a Dream” speech in 1963 at the “March on Washington,” a march organized to show the importance of civil rights legislation. The march was a success and the Civil Rights Act was passed a year later in 1964. Martin Luther King, Jr lost his life on April 4, 1968 after being shot while standing on the balcony of his hotel. However, the lessons he taught us live on. Here are three lessons he taught us that we can pass on to our children.

Forgiveness is Healing

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” - MLK Jr. 

Forgiveness is an emotional process of letting go of hurt, anger, and resentment. So often, we teach children to merely give or accept an apology, and that’s as far as we teach “forgiveness,” but it goes much deeper than a simple apology. In fact, forgiveness can occur without an apology, and that’s also an important lesson for children to learn. They are in control of letting go of their pain regardless of what the offending party does. It may seem impossible to teach true forgiveness to a still developing mind, but research shows that children who are taught forgiveness skills have better relationships, improve their academic performance, and are happier overall. But how can we teach children to forgive? 

Here are 5 simple steps for forgiveness by child development expert Maureen Healy.

  1. Acknowledge what happened. Don’t brush it under a rug or ignore it where it can fester and grow. Instead, teach your child to acknowledge what occurred and face it.
  2. Experience your feelings. Sitting with unpleasant feelings is, well, unpleasant. But feeling them is an important part of letting them go. Help your child to name the emotions they are feeling and then allow them the space to cry or vent to you if needed.
  3. Communicate that you want to forgive. Now it’s time to let those emotions wash away and to declare your intention to forgive. Stating our intentions is a powerful mental exercise.
  4. Forgive. Let go of the pain, resentment, or anger. Do this exercise with your child: Ask them to imagine the anger or hurt going out of their body with each exhale and imagine love and forgiveness and peace coming in with each inhale. Do this for about 5 breaths or until your child feels the process is complete.
  5. Release. The anger and hurt is now gone. Let it go and move on. 

Never Give Up

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” - MLK Jr.

Do you have a naturally persistent child? While it can be challenging, particularly during those toddler years, persistence is a good trait for your child to have. It’s key to success! Some kids seem to be born with a stubborn streak that will not allow them to quit while others may need this trait to be cultivated and nurtured. Here are 4 ways to teach persistence according to parenting expert and author Dr. Laura Markham. 

 

  1. Reward persistence. Dr. Markham suggests acknowledging when your child has worked hard toward something regardless of the outcome. 
  2. Find win-win solutions. Research shows that controlling parenting creates rebellion but working with your child creates a positive and cooperative relationship. Teach your child to identify each person’s needs and to look for a solution that everyone involved can live with.
  3. Offer emotional support. Help your child understand that it takes time to develop and master skills, and that no one accomplishes big things overnight. While it’s okay to experiment and try new things, a child who quits everything she attempts is probably bound by fear. It will take patience, and there may be a few tears along the way, but encourage her to finish out the class or the season. Dr. Markham recommends trying play therapy. For example, if she wants to quit ballet, have a play session at home where you are the student and she is the ballet teacher. She says, “Bumble and let her giggle at what a terrible student you are. Seeing someone who just can't do anything right will help her feel better about her own lack of perfection.”
  4. Model perseverance. Let your child see you try, fail, and try again until you master something. Talk about your feelings along the way.

Stand Up for Others

“Never, never be afraid to do what’s right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake.” - MLK Jr.

In a survey of 2,000 US children ages 6-12 released by Highlights for Children (2018 Highlights State of the Kid Survey), most said they would take action if they witnessed an injustice occurring. Most younger children said they would ask an adult for help and most older children said they would step in and try to stop it themselves. The compassion and the desire to do what’s right is there. We just have to teach children how to stand up for themselves and others. 

  1. Have an open conversation about bullying. More than 70% of children have witnessed bullying and nearly 30% have been bullied themselves. Talk about the bullying behaviors your child has witnessed and discuss the importance of intervening when it’s safe to do so or getting the help of an adult. 
  2. Role-play different situations where your child witnesses an injustice and decides to step in. Brainstorm solutions about how to safely and effectively help someone out of a bad situation. 
  3. Be a friend to those in need. Tell your child to be extra kind to the kid who gets bullied at school. Sit with the kid at lunch who always sits alone. Invite lonely kids to play at recess. Even just a kind or encouraging word to one of these hurting kids might be the lifeline they need that day. 
  4. Reach out to new students. It’s always difficult to be the new student. Reaching out and befriending them right away will relieve a lot of anxiety for that child. Ask your child to always put themselves in the other person’s shoes. How would they want to be treated? What would help them feel at ease in a new school?
  5. Stop rumors from spreading. Talk to your child about the importance of not spreading rumors. Play the telephone game where a message is given to the first person in a line of people and whispered to the next person and so on until it reaches the end of the line when the last person announces the message. Most times, the end message is significantly different from the original one. This is a powerful demonstration of how rumors spread and are untrue and unreliable.