Confidence is not so much about what you feel, as it is about learned behavior from life experiences and perspectives. After a while, what you’ve got are healthy habits that become second nature in spite of how you feel.

Confident kids don’t take more risks, for instance, because they are afraid or believe in some innate ability. Rather, they have learned through past experience that the more they try, their odds for success increase. Confident kids also aren’t naturally more comfortable in their own skin because they believe everyone likes them, but they understand you can’t make everyone like you and the best you can do is to be yourself.

In this way, raising a confident child is a lot like connecting the dots on one of those worksheets our kids color on. Drawing a line from one number to the next may not always look like much at first, but after a while, what you’ve got is a silhouette of what we understand confidence to look like.

Much of these connections, perspectives and habits confident kids form, happen when parents provide enough love, support and space for their kids to grow in.

Here are 10 things parents of confident children know to be true.

1.They understand what it takes to maintain a good relationship with their child. Parents who have good relationships with their child take the time to get to know their kid as a person. They spend time doing activities their child enjoys and they talk to them about their likes and dislikes, aspirations and what makes them tick. As a result, parents who get to know their kid not only love their child, but end up liking him too and enjoy spending time with him.

Parents who maintain good relationships with their child also speak to them respectfully. Many parents forget that children are just like normal people in this way. How you speak to your child is just as important as what you say to your child. When a child feels respected, he is more willing to share what’s on his mind and what’s going on his life. Children who have good relationships with their parents step out into the world knowing what it takes to form good relationships with other people.

2. They know they can’t always be their child’s savior. As painful as it is to watch your child disappointed or rejected, parents of confident children understand that kids need to stand on their own two feet. They don’t run to their rescue each time they fall. They let their kids attempt new endeavors, dust themselves off and encourage their kids to try again. In time, these kids learn that not only is failure the best way to learn, but the odds of success increase the more they try. Kids who seem bold aren’t without fear. They have simply made the calculation that the benefits of taking a risk outweigh the cons. Nor will parents of confident children make excuses for their child when they’ve made a misstep. Instead, they let their child endure the consequences for forgetting his homework or being late, so he can be accountable next time.