Start early.Children as early as 2 begin to notice differences and similarities in people from hair color to habits to physical ability. As parents, we perhaps have the greatest impact on our child’s perceptions and notions about differences during this early stage in their life. The biases we hold, tell our child who is innocent and who is criminal, who is intelligent and who is less smart, and who is beautiful and who is unattractive. To counteract racism and other forms of injustice, it’s important to start now.
Be open.Too often, we shush our kids when they have questions or make observations about people. Rather than seizing a teachable moment, we discourage their comments because they make us uncomfortable or we underestimate their ability to understand complex issues. But all complex issues can be whittled down to simple truths. I remember when my toddler went into see her pediatrician. Upon meeting our African American pediatrician for the first time, my daughter told her she looked like Doc McStuffins, a black Disney character who fixed toys the way doctors fix patients. I was mortified by her comment and told her that wasn’t polite to say. Thinking back, there really was no reason to be ashamed of an observation a 3-year-old made, and I regret not seizing the opportunity to discuss differences and celebrate diversity. It’s important to encourage our children to “see” color, rather than simply telling kids we are all the same. Differences are not the problem. It’s our reaction and tolerance to them that are.
Model equity. When it comes to teaching equality, actions speak louder than words. Be careful not to promote stereotypical roles. We can easily tell our girls to be just as strong as our boys, but when we reserve certain games, tasks and sports as something only girls can do or something boys can do, what message are sending our kids? Sometimes stereotypes are so deeply ingrained that we need to be very conscious about what we are saying through our actions.
Read books. Sometimes, the best and easiest way to educate our children is through books. Ignorance and racism run a fuzzy line. A child who knows about the racial history of the Confederate flag, for instance, will be less likely to brandish a symbol out of ignorance. CNBC provides a great list of books, as does The Conscious Kid and American Indians in Children’s Literature. These books showcase anti-racist efforts and talk about how race intersects with other issues.
Enforce the golden rule. Sometimes the best lessons to teach our kids are the obvious ones. It’s important to ingrain basic truths in our children through repetition. Start by asking your child, “Would you want someone to discriminate or judge you based on what you looked like?” When we teach our kids empathy by doing unto others as we would have them do unto us, we underscore the most basic commonality: we all have feelings, we all deserve to be treated with dignity, and we are all created equal.
Do something. It’s not enough to simply not be a bigot. Silence and inaction in the face of injustice condones it. Teach your child to take a stand at an early age by sticking up for a friend who is bullied or asking a teacher to build multiculturalism into the curriculum, or simply sharing stories about tolerance in class.
Foster pride. Loving others begins with loving yourself, and being tolerant with others, begins with being tolerant with idiosyncrasies’ in yourself. Educate your child about your family heritage to encourage a positive image about her background and where she comes from.
Travel. When better times allows, take your child to see firsthand how different cultures live and appreciate their respective art, food, architecture and language. But even without getting on a plane, we can still study other cultures by experiencing different culinary adventures, seeing museum virtually or watching films about other cultures and their history. The important thing is to expose your child to different ways of life. Another great way to broaden acceptance is to learn another language. A study from the University of Chicago revealed that children who hear multiple languages in daily life are more accepting of people whose language differ from their own.
Teach manners. We all know how brutally honest kids can be. But sometimes that honesty can be offensive. It’s one thing to refer a dead bug as gross, but it’s rude to call food from a different culture as gross. Or to call someone’s way of dress as weird. Teaching your child simple manners goes a long way to foster a spirit of tolerance.
Lead by example. Leading by example is perhaps the most effective way to increase racial and cultural literacy. Through and through, children model their parents. So widen your circle of friends and acquaintances to include people from different backgrounds, cultures and experiences, so they will do it too.
