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25 Ways to Calm an Upset Child

by Rebecca Eanes

Calm Worry and Sadness

For Calming Worry:

  1. Worry Peg Dolls can be helpful for children who have anxiety or a tendency to worry about things. Tell these little dolls all your worries and then place them under your pillow.
  2. Create an anti-anxiety kit like this one from The Chaos and the Clutter.
  3. Worry Eaters are cute plush critters with zipper mouths. Have your child write down their worries and then feed them to the Worry Eater.
  4. One Creative Elementary School Counselor keeps a box of worry stones. She says the idea is that, when you rub a stone, it will help your worries go away. Really, just fidgeting with the stone, feeling its smoothness and rolling it over and over in your hand, calms the brain.
  5. Give your child a Worry Box like the one shared by NSPT. A worry box is a cognitive-behavioral therapeutic approach to dealing with worry.
  6. Teach your child to use positive self-talk. They mostly learn this from hearing you use positive self-talk! Say things like “It’s okay to make mistakes. Everyone does.” “I’m not perfect, but I’m good enough!”
  7. Think of solutions together. Teach your child to work through those feelings of worry by looking for a solution. For example, if he’s worried about a test he has to take, brainstorming solutions on how to prepare for the test will help alleviate the worry.

For Calming Sadness:

  1. Tell your child about a time you felt sad. Did it last forever? What did you do? Just sharing your experience with sadness will help your child feel that she’s not alone.
  2. Read a children’s book about sadness. Here are some suggestions.
  3. Let them cry. Just be with them without trying to talk them out of the sadness. Sometimes, we just need to get it out.
  4. Exercise, like running, dancing, or going for a walk releases the “feel good chemicals” that counteract sadness.

Related Article: Cultivating Self-Compassion

Rebecca Eanes is the bestselling author of multiple books including Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, The Positive Parenting Workbook, and The Gift of a Happy Mother. She is the grateful mom of two boys. 

 

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