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5 Ways to Bolster Your Child's Emotional Intelligence

by Rebecca Eanes

Talk about feelings.

Describe how sadness, happiness, anger, and other emotions feel in the body. Teach your child to recognize and name emotions as she feels them. You can do this beginning when she is very young by saying, “You look angry. Your face is red, and your body is tense.” As she grows older, talk to her about how to handle her emotions. Teach her ways to move through sadness, deal with disappointment, calm anger, maintain happiness, and so on. She will benefit from this lifelong.

Accept and validate all feelings.

As parents, we often only like to see positive emotions in our children. Anger tends to trigger our own anger. Sadness makes us worry, and so we want to wipe it away quickly. We may dismiss disappointment or anxiety in hopes that these feelings will just go away in our children. We want to see them happy all the time, but human beings aren't happy all the time, and it's important for your child to learn that all emotions are normal and okay to feel. He needs to know, of course, that all behavior isn't acceptable (for example, he can't throw things because he's mad), but it's perfectly okay to feel mad. Don't dismiss feelings that make you uncomfortable, but sit with your child through them. Often, they just need you to listen and show understanding.

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