Continued...

Authoritative parents operate from a love-based mindset at says:

1. My role is to guide and teach my child appropriate behavior.
2. My child learns through the examples set in the home and through limits that are set and enforced respectfully and with empathy.
3. While I am the leader, my child has equal rights to be respected and to be heard.

Authoritative parents place a high value on the relationship, making sure to create and maintain a positive, healthy parent-child relationship. They take the time to explain their rules and boundaries to their children, and they take their kids’ feelings into consideration. They also take the time to teach appropriate behavior and head off problems before they start. Research shows that children with authoritative – or positive- parents tend to be happier and more successful. They are more likely to be responsible, have higher self-esteem, and make good decisions.

Steps for Shifting Your Mindset:

1. Educate yourself on the development of your child’s brain. Understanding what your child is cognitively capable of will go a long way in changing your perspective on behavior. For example, when you understand that a toddler’s tantrum isn’t a calculated move against you but rather the result of overwhelming emotions in an immature brain, you will parent that child differently. When you see naughtiness, the urge is to punish, but when you see a child who is struggling, the urge is to help.
2. Reframe your thoughts surrounding your child’s behavior. Rather than seeing it as misbehavior, see it as an opportunity to teach your child something valuable. Assume that your child has positive intent even if the behavior is negative. Seeing the best in your child means you will approach the problem with a positive mindset.
3. Take time for proper self-care. A well-hydrated, well-nourished, well-rested parent is able to stay calmer and make better decisions. You matter, too!
4. Feed your mind good things. Read uplifting books and articles. Follow positive people on social media. Develop healthy friendships with optimistic and like-minded people. Be careful not to complain or criticize too much. Having a happier, more positive mindset in general will help you be a more positive parent!

Rebecca Eanes is the bestselling author of multiple books including Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, The Positive Parenting Workbook, and The Gift of a Happy Mother. She is the grateful mom of two boys.