4. Affirm positive traits. Everywhere your kids go, they hear what they are not. They’re not cool enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, sporty enough, smart enough, focused enough, still enough, quiet enough, loud enough... You may be the only positive, affirming voice they hear all day. Tell your kids often that they are enough. Point out what they are. Children often come to see themselves the way we see them. What are we communicating?
5. Encourage positive relationships. Get to know your kid’s friends and encourage relationships with positive influences by offering to host a sleepover or taking them out shopping or to a movie. Discuss the importance of choosing friends wisely, and discuss it often. While you can’t choose your child’s friends, you can try to steer them away from bad influences subtly by encouraging better bonds with the positive friends.
6. Teach them how to set boundaries and how to compromise. Good boundaries will ensure that big values aren’t in jeopardy while the skill of compromise will help them navigate social pressures in a way they can control and feel comfortable with. For example, if a friend says “I’ll only play with you at recess if you play my game,” you can coach your child to say, “Okay, I’ll play your game today and you can play my game tomorrow.” Also teach your child key phrases such as “I’m not comfortable with that” to gracefully exit sticky situations.
In the end, the quality of your relationship and comfort of home life are the anchors that will keep your child from getting lost. If your child feels connected to you and feels valued and accepted at home, you will remain their compass point, and they’ll always find their way back home.
