Continued...
I began thinking of ways I can be more conscious in celebrating my children in the ordinary everyday moments. I’ll share my ideas below. You may want to copy them down or print them out and add your own as well.
- Notice and compliment small steps in the right direction. Maybe my son’s next math sheet won’t be an A, but I will celebrate a C. “Hey, you did better on this one. You must have really worked hard on it. Awesome!” The message is you don’t have to be perfect. Progress is good.
- Make a habit of saying “life-giving” words on a daily basis. Here are some examples:
Spending time with you makes me happy.
I love seeing your smiling face this morning.
You are a wonderful thing to wake up to.
I’m proud of you for who you are.
I love you no matter what.
You are so much fun to be with.
You bring a lot of joy to our family.
I am happy to share my life with you.
- Take them out for a treat for no reason. Go for frozen yogurt or ice cream “just because.” Have a small party just to celebrate family with cupcakes that simply say, “I love you.” Blow up balloons and fill their room with them for a fun surprise. Write affirmations on each balloon. This is a tangible way to celebrate them on an ordinary day for no special occasion.
- Fill your child’s emotional cup. Sometimes we get caught up in the rush and routines of the everyday and aren’t conscious about filling up our children emotionally. This just means helping them feel loved, valued, accepted, and approved of. Take each child on a one-on-one date with mom or dad. Leave love notes in their lunchbox, on their pillow, and taped to the bathroom mirror. Take a few extra moments for affection. Offer a back rub or a hug. Ruffle their hair or give them a pat on the back when you pass by them. Smile when they enter the room and make eye contact. These simple things take only a small amount of time but really convey the message “you matter to me all the time.”
- Speak appreciation for the everyday things your kids do that are kind, good, or helpful. I know it always makes me feel good when sometimes says they appreciate the article I wrote or the meal I made or the clean-smelling house. How often do we tell our kids we appreciate that they put their toys away or fed the cat or shared with a sibling? Because we expect these things to occur, we usually only notice when they don’t. Make a habit of noticing the positive.
Rebecca Eanes is the bestselling author of multiple books including Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, The Positive Parenting Workbook, and The Gift of a Happy Mother. She is the grateful mom of two boys.
