One of the most shocking things about motherhood for me is how long it’s been hard. I confess, when my boys were just tiny tots, I had this idea in my head. I told myself “when they’re 6 and 4, it’ll be easier.” I reasoned that, surely by then they’d both be sleeping well, potty trained, and those wacky toddler behaviors would have passed and things would definitely be smooth sailing from there. Then suddenly my kids were 6 and 4 and it was still hard, just in a different way. They were potty trained and sleeping better, but there was still so much to do and so much to teach. So I told myself, “when they are 10 and 8, this will definitely, for sure, be easier.” I mean, in 4 more years, they’d be super mature, right? When 10 and 8 came and I realized that motherhood is apparently never going to be easy, I fell into a funk. I kept thinking, “What did I sign up for here?! I’m still exhausted a decade into mothering!”

That’s when I realized I needed a huge perspective shift if I was ever going to find true contentment and joy in my mothering journey. I had to fully accept that it wasn’t going to ever be easy and stop waiting for a magical age when my troubles and worries would vanish. It’s not coming. Meanwhile, my life is happening. Their childhoods are happening. This is it, right now, and just because it isn’t easy doesn’t mean it isn’t good.

The thing about focusing on your hardships is that it magnifies them, and those now big hardships overshadow all the little moments of love and beauty and joy.

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