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Restoring Your Relationship with Your Child

by Rebecca Eanes

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5. Allow your child to have his or her feelings. Your child may still be upset with you even after the apology. It’s important to allow space for that and to give them some time to work through their feelings. Children, like adults, have complex emotional worlds. While we may feel discomfort when our children are upset with us, we can show that we care about their experience by sitting in that discomfort and not demanding that they “get over it” but rather we show empathy and wait for them to work through it.

6. Create an open invitation. If your child is still upset with you and refuses to talk, then you can simply create an open invitation which lets your child know that you have forgiven the incident and are ready to reconnect and move forward when they are. You might say, “I would love to hang out with you and watch that movie when you feel up to it” or “I hear that you’re still upset and I respect that. I will be right outside when you’re ready to talk.”

 

7. Keep your word and follow through on promises. If the disconnection was because you were in the wrong, and you tell your child, for example, that you will be less distracted and will spend quality time with her every day, then really try to keep your promise. Put your distractions away for a set period of time and focus on the relationship. When your child sees your effort, it will build trust, and therefore connection.

Rebecca Eanes is the bestselling author of multiple books including Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, The Positive Parenting Workbook, and The Gift of a Happy Mother. She is the grateful mom of two boys. 

 

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