They haven’t had Pinterest-worthy birthday parties, and they’ve only had one big vacation. I see other moms with their annual Disney trips and matching Mickey shirts for the whole family and think my kids really drew the short straw. We’ve been to parties where everything matched beautifully and the cake was picture perfect, but the closest I got to that was the time I cut out large shapes and attempted to make Minecraft blocks and odd-looking pigs on the wall for my son’s Minecraft party. Most of the time, it’s balloons and a cake from Walmart, but you know what? Every year, they get to bust through an entire hallway of crepe paper on their birthday. Grandparents come over to spend time with them, and they get an annual birthday balloon bubble bath. When they’re all grown up, I have a feeling it won’t be the gorgeous decorations that matter so much as feeling that we loved them to pieces.
I have not walked perfectly in my faith. I sometimes feel that I’ve shorted my children by not giving them a perfect, shining example of what we believe. My children have seen me fail, but they’ve also seen me turn back toward our faith and try again. I believe there’s value in that because they, too, will stumble one day.
Brene Brown wrote a great book called The Gifts of Imperfection. She says, “Here's what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now, not if, not when, we're worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.” I can always strive to be a better mom, but to be happy and wholehearted, I’m learning to be okay with who I am today - messy, flawed, imperfect, but totally in love with my children.
