Mother’s Day, like every other holiday, has been commercialized to turn a profit. In the scrambling for cards, flowers, and chocolate candies, perhaps the most important gifts are forgotten. Flowers are lovely, and cards are nice, but it’s the meaningful, heartfelt gifts that truly mean the most to us. This Mother’s Day, I’m giving this list to my family. I’m pretty sure any mother would be happy to receive something off this list as well, and not just for Mother’s Day, but any day!

1. Don’t buy me roses; stop and smell them with me instead. My dear sons, you are half grown. The older you get, the less significant I become to you. This is just the nature of things. You are becoming your own persons, growing into young men, and figuring out who you are and where you want this life to take you. Friends mean more and more to you, and I’m not as cool as I was just a few years ago. I know you become engrossed in gaming and hobbies, and sometimes I have to wrangle everyone together just to see your eyes. In this season when spending quality time with Mom isn’t at the top of your list, it means the world to me when we are simply together, enjoying one another’s company. Take a walk with me. Hold my hand like you used to when you were little. Tell me about what’s going on in your world. Let me in. This is the most cherished gift you can give me – time with you. Give me time to walk alongside you before another woman takes your hand and your heart.

2. I don’t need a card someone else wrote, I want to hear your own words. Tell me that you appreciate all I have done for you. Tell me that you remember some of the wonderful times we have shared. Tell me your favorite memories that we made together. Tell me I’ve been a good mom, if you feel that I have. Tell me I’ve made you feel loved, accepted, encouraged, and worthy. Tell me you’re glad that I’m your mom. Tell me what I’ve meant to you all these years – what I mean to you now. Tell me you love me.

3. Don’t buy me sweets, just be sweet. All that chocolate is going to go straight to my hips anyway. Save me the caloric intake and do something sweet for me on Mother’s Day. Make my bed for me. Offer to do the laundry or cook a meal. Clean up your room without being asked 24 times. Scribble a handwritten love note for me. Read me a story for a change. I still like to listen, you know. Stop and smile at me when you pass by. I just want to know that you’re thinking of me. I want to feel like I matter.

4. I don’t want diamonds or gold, I want photographs. I know you think few things are as dreadful as taking pictures, but boys, one day I’ll need them. Those pictures will be here with me when you’re gone, and I’ll cherish them for the rest of my life. So, don’t grumble when I say “selfie with mom!” Please don’t complain when we take family photos. When I say, “Okay, get together and smile!” just do it. Smile your best smile and do it for me. I lost many years of sleep for you. It’s the least you can do.

Rebecca Eanes is the bestselling author of multiple books including Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, The Positive Parenting Workbook, and The Gift of a Happy Mother. She is the grateful mom of two boys.