2. Express disapproval in a warm and loving way. A parent who seems to reject not only the behavior but the child can induce anxiety in that child. This will do nothing to encourage healthy behavior. You want your child to remember the lesson and ways to repair the problem, not how horrible he feels about himself. So it’s also important not to chastise your child in front of other people. Pull him aside or be discreet if possible so he isn’t distracted about feeling embarrassed.
3. Make the repair part a discussion. Forcing behavior without taking the time to properly explain why his behavior was wrong may prevent your child from reflecting on the lesson you’re trying to teach him. One way to get him to internalize what’s happened is through discussion, but only once everyone’s had a chance to calm down. Talking in the heat of the moment is never a good idea. And some space before discussing a wrong may also work in helping kids gain better perspective on why they should avoid damaging behavior in the future.
Deborah Song
