It turns out that my gut instinct was completely right, and when I finally listened to it, I brought my boy into my arms instead of sending him to the time-out chair. I realized that he wasn’t being naughty or defiant, but that he was processing big feelings about having a baby brother and missing some of that time he used to have with his mommy – time the baby took up now. He was feeling some level of disconnection and lots of confusion, and those emotions were driving his behavior. Behavior is communication. Listening to outside voices caused me to miss something very important – my child’s distress. I’m thankful that I finally listened to my gut, and we found our way out of that messy cycle.
As parents, we are faced with countless choices. Do we heed expert advice or trust our instincts? My concern is that, by ignoring our gut instincts and heeding the advice of others which comes at parents in a constant bombardment these days, we miss important cues about our children’s experiences. This can lead to detrimental consequences, including an erosion of trust and a loss of attachment, and deprives our children of the help they are desperately crying out for with their behavior. Distinguishing your inner voice from the world’s loud voices is not always clear or simple. It’s important to allow yourself some space to hear what your gut is telling you. This could be through meditation, freeing yourself from distractions, going for a walk – anything that allows some time for your mind to wander. When you are calm and undistracted, you can hear your own voice more clearly.
Be open to what your intuition is telling you. Sometimes following someone else’s advice might feel safer, but knowing that you have a second brain at work might help it feel a little safer to follow your gut!
