Through adolescence and into adulthood, it is important to have a healthy, connected relationship. Connection is vital because the human brain is literally wired to connect, and when that connection isn’t there, we suffer emotionally, and that basic need for connection is never outgrown.

Often a go-to for all behavioral problems, punishment is an extremely common method of behavior modification, but is it really the best way to help kids do better?

Empathy is a key element in emotional intelligence. Teaching children emotional intelligence (a “person’s ability to identify, evaluate, control, and express emotions) has proven to be extremely important for social and academic achievement.

I recently gave my middle schooler a phone. I had intended to wait until high school, but with a big school field trip coming up and more time spent at friends’ houses, I knew I’d feel more at ease if we had a way to reach each other easily. Quickly, though, he developed the same problem that many of us suffer with today. His phone became attached to his hand.

We are running ourselves ragged and worrying ourselves to pieces. We are doing too much and resting too little. The quest to be the mom who has it all together is a dangerous one, and it’s time we drop our masks and show our true faces.

My son walks out of the building dragging a heavy backpack, an overstuffed three-ring binder with a shoulder strap he never uses, a lunch box, and a water bottle. Because his hands are full, he struggles to get the door open to my vehicle. Finally, he manages it, and he unloads his things into the back seat and climbs in. He lets out an audible exhale as he buckles, and slumps into his seat, staring out the window.

We all hope for the kind of relationship with our children where they feel they can talk to us about anything. We hope they’ll run to us with their hopes, fears, problems, and dreams. However, getting them to open up isn’t always easy. Here are 7 powerful ways to ensure the communication lines will stay open.

I read a beautiful article today by Krista O’Reilly called How to Get Comfortable with the Discomfort of Parenting. In it, she discussed how her late mother loved her “as is” and what a gift that was to her. She said, “My mom saw me for the fullness of who I was and liked me. She didn’t try to change me or mold me into her image. She listened well and delighted in me.”

When children are little, positive parents focus on helping children learn about emotions and manage them through using time-ins, calming corners, and peace tables, but what happens when kids outgrow the calming corner?

Carol Dweck is a world-renowed psychologist at Stanford University. She has conducted decades of research on achievement and success, and her groundbreaking work on growth versus fixed mindset is sweeping the U.S. and U.K. Known as “the mindset revolution,” parents and educators are setting out to teach children how to develop a growth mindset. But what exactly does that mean?

Our New Year’s Eve countdown is one of my very favorites. I generally start the festivities at 6 p.m. That gives us plenty of time to complete several activities before the ball drops at midnight. I hope you’ll give this fun countdown a try this year – it may become your new favorite tradition as well.

They tell you that time flies and to enjoy it all you can, and yet in the midst of sleep deprivation, 3 a.m. feedings, and endless diapers, it feels like it will last forever. You wonder how time can possibly fly when one night drags on so very long.

Something is happening with our children, and we need to stop and pay attention. They are crying out. Suicide rates for young children are climbing, and the number of beautiful souls we are losing every year is alarming. In children ages 5 to 13, one dies by suicide every 5 days.

In a corner of my living room stands a twinkling tree with a bright star atop. Underneath, the presents are far fewer than last year because we made an agreement as a family earlier this year – we decided we’d enjoy more experiences and less things. We (okay, mostly I) wanted memories over materials in 2017, and so we went to amusement parks, concerts, conventions, and plays. Still, there are toys under my tree this year, and I count my blessings as I put each wrapped gift in its place. How much longer will there be toys underneath my Christmas tree?

Would you like a cozier, happier holiday season in 2017? I think it would be a much needed ending to what could surely be described as a crazy year here in America. “Hustle and bustle” is the American way of holidays, but what if we looked to our happy friends in Denmark (the happiest country in the world in 2016 and second happiest in 2017 while the U.S. was ranked 13th and 14th respectively) to learn a fresh way to do the holidays?

The Holiday Season is upon us again, and I’m going to start a new family tradition. I’d like to take my kids’ focus off of getting and onto giving for a few minutes each day. To do this, I’m going to stuff an extra slip of paper into our advent wall calendar. Normally, each pocket holds a fun family activity drawn from this list. This year, each pocket will also include a giving activity – either giving time, giving from the heart, lending a hand, or giving a material item. I want my children to understand that they are spreaders of kindness and cheer, not merely receivers of it. I want to empower them to make a positive difference in the world and teach them that every human, no matter how old or how small, can make a big impact! Here’s what I’m writing on our slips of paper.

When my firstborn son was three, he began acting defiant and out of sorts. What I saw then as a call for discipline I soon learned was a call for connection. He was telling me, through his actions, that he was feeling bad inside. More recently, when he began coming straight home from middle school and going to his room, I immediately knew he was communicating something to me. What many disregard as tween attitude is really a call for help. My boy was overwhelmed with new teachers, a new schedule, and the social pressures of middle school. He was anxious, worried, and feeling less confident. Had I not recognized his behavior as a signal, I would have likely made things worse by remarking on his withdrawal and attitude.

"Most adults treat kids like we are worth less than they are - like they can talk to us however they want because our brains aren't fully matured and they think it won't hurt, but it does." - 11 year old boy

Discipline shouldn’t be about the coolest and most creative way to punish our children but about the best way to reach their hearts. Lasting positive change occurs when kids feel good about who they are plus are empowered with skills and tools to do the right thing.

My son recently started middle school. In the days leading up to and the several weeks since, he has been fraught with anxiety. He’s a worrier and a perfectionist, and I’m trying to teach him that he’s perfect just the way he is, even when he’s worrying.

When my firstborn son was 3, I began using time-in with him as my highly sensitive boy found time-outs very distressing. I created a peaceful space for him which included a comfortable pillow, stuffed animal, sensory rice bin, calming glitter jar, board books, and coloring pages.